Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Can we see your heels?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

What is the most overrated pleasure? Why?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

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I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

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When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What habits do happy couples have?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I actually pay taxes

Why don't the EU leaders who want even more war instead of peace send their sons (and daughters) to fight in Ukraine? Zelensky accepts volunteers this very moment. 3,000 dollars a month, all expenses paid.

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand how hurricane paths work

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for traitorism

How do people move on so quickly? I’m still sprung over someone I was dating and he found someone else so fast. I feel hurt because I’m still head over heels over him while he’s out enjoying his life with someone new

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why is my ex still keeping in touch with me even though she dumped me?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I see through liars

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Quia quia unde harum qui quas.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

What is the best SPF 60 Sunscreen for oily skin?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have a reading level above third grade

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

What are the ten cars that make me no longer feel inferior?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for fakery

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authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I can count

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I can read

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP